When you meet, what is your film program?

rosemary baby

When Alex and I started dating, he realized that I had never seen…

Rosemary’s baby. “What?” he said, his eyes widening. “It’s one of my favorite movies by a mile.” We watched it a few weeks later – well, the first half at least (wink, wink). He said he revealed a style and sensibility that he came close to, almost as if I were reading part of his diary.

His movie slate included The Shining and The Great Escape. “We watched The Great Escape in bed at our old flat,” he recalled on the phone today. “And I ordered a pizza box full of cookies.”

During that time, I showed him So I Married an Ax Murderer because my family quotes him all the time; and if a date finds this film funny, he will understand my sense of humor. These days, I also shared TV shows, like Fleabag, Insecure, Broad City and This Way Up, because they help reveal what it’s like to be a woman. (To finish!)

My friend Naudia watches the Lord of the Rings trilogy twice a year. “When my sisters left Guyana to join me in America, I said, ‘You can’t be my sisters unless you watch this.’ Since Naudia loves nature, gardening and traveling, she sees herself reflected in the film: “My goal in my life is always to find my Shire. My boyfriend and I recently moved in together, and as a housewarming gift he gave me a sign that said “Welcome to the Shire.”

When Aaron, a comedy writer, met his wife Elizabeth, he showed her a bunch of funny movies, including Johnny Dangerously and Caddyshack. “I wanted her to understand the little references I say all the time.”

And before they had kids, they watched National Lampoon’s Vacation. “Dad tries to have a fun vacation but he gets manic,” says Aaron. “It becomes a joyless quest for joy. To understand parenthood, it’s so essential. You have to have affection for things that go wrong.

But what if the list is intimidating? “I’m struggling with a new relationship, my friend C. told me. “I don’t really watch movies, and my boyfriend is always shocked when he finds out I haven’t seen anything. Its program includes The Alpinist, Pulp Fiction and Unforgiven. “A danger of dating someone middle-aged is that they’ve already seen too many movies to catch up.”

All in all, it’s just fun to share movies you love, isn’t it? “None of them are homework assignments,” Aaron says. “It’s not like, oh, this is gonna be a chore.”

What movies do you show someone you’ve been dating for a while? What are your three favourites?

PS The ultimate TV guide, and which comedy scenes do you like?

(Photo of Rosemary’s baby.)

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