Ask Amy: The man I’m dating isn’t vaccinated against coronavirus


dear Amy: I have been dating a man for seven months. He is absolutely wonderful. We even talk about marriage, except that we don’t agree on the policy. This was made even more evident with the recent Supreme Court decision in the Dobbs case. [on abortion rights].

We decided to adopt the rule of “we have different points of view, but we support”.

Yesterday I hesitantly asked the question: “Are you vaccinated against covid?

I was almost afraid to hear his answer because I knew what it would be, and of course he was not vaccinated.

It’s completely my fault that I didn’t have this conversation earlier in the relationship, as I have lupus and am on multiple immunosuppressive medications.

With the new variant of the coronavirus being so contagious, I am very worried that he will eventually catch the virus, and then I will catch him because we spend so much time together.

When I asked if he wanted to get vaccinated for me, he said “No” and gave me a long list of political reasons.

How do I explain how important it is for my health?

I have five children (all under 18) from my previous marriage. With my health problems, I already fear leaving my children too soon, if the worst should happen.

Should I just throw away a relationship that finally makes me happy? Should I end it because of political differences?

Vulnerable: You see this problem as being somewhat of a political issue, but you are the person with lupus and five children.

You are the person already worried about your life being cut short by your autoimmune disease. So it’s not about politics. It is a matter of science, safety and health.

Vaccinating this man could benefit him, his colleagues, neighbors and family members. He’s already decided he doesn’t want to do this.

Of course, he won’t get vaccinated for you! If he cared about your health, he would do everything possible to protect your health.

My question is: Why don’t you care more about your health?

You suffer from a serious chronic illness. You are medically vulnerable. You also have five children who need you.

Yes – as you rightly point out, it’s up to you. It’s hard to understand how or why you would start a new relationship during a global pandemic without asking a potential partner’s vaccination status before you meet.

It’s an unfortunate situation, but your man has already made a choice. He agrees with that.

[Find the latest coronavirus guidance from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.]

dear Amy: I have been friends with “Charlotte” for 35 years.

Nine years ago, because we were both widowed, we agreed to rent an apartment together.

At first it was wonderful, however slowly but surely she began to criticize and correct me, especially in front of my children and friends.

I repeatedly told her how it made me feel, but then she says I’m a kid and overreacting.

How to make her stop? It’s affected our friendship to the point where I can’t stand being with her in social settings anymore.

She even did it in front of my clients.

We both work in the same office at the start of tax season. Then in January, I move to another office, which is a relief.

Is this a sign of senility or is she a bully?

fed up: This behavior could be a sign of senility, especially if you asked “Charlotte” not to belittle you and to correct you and she continues to do so.

However, other than telling him how it makes you feel, you don’t report asking him to stop doing it. Maybe it’s time for the two of you to have a serious one-on-one.

I’m talking about a meeting around the kitchen table where you review your lifestyle to see if it’s still viable.

Charlotte’s continued criticism of you could indicate that she has become unhappy with being your roommate. You are obviously unhappy.

If you decide to continue as roommates, you must tell Charlotte that in the future, you expect her not to criticize you in front of others, and if she persists, you will publicly remind her to stop. .

dear Amy: Responding to “Loving but sad girlwhose brother omitted factual details from their father’s obituary — I suggest he write and publish his own!

As a librarian, I answered numerous requests for newspaper obituaries. These obituaries last forever, and she should fix the record.

©2022 by Amy Dickinson. Distributed by content agency Tribune.

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